He is Close to the Brokenhearted


The LORD is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed.- Psalm 34:18

  I have tried to write a blog for the past two weeks but the words seem to elude me. I am still struggling with taming my thoughts in to something intelligible.Without spelling out every detail, November 11th my brother lost his best friend and wife, my 3 young nieces (12, 8 and 8 months) lost their mother and our entire family lost a very precious and beautiful person. My sister-in-law was the only sister I ever knew and she meant a lot to me. She was someone I trusted with my kids. She was someone who I could talk to and joke with. She was a fun person to be around. She was healthy. She was only 31 years old. In the matter of an hour, she was gone from this earth. 

   I have lost loved ones in my life before. But never have I felt quite this way. I never felt grief in the form of a physical hurt. The first night she was gone, I rocked my youngest niece to sleep and pain just consumed me while holding this beautiful baby who just wanted her mom. In my grief  I began to just lay in to God. All the "why's" came flooding out, and things like, "how could you allow this to happen?" "you could have saved her and you didn't!", "I prayed. I cried out for a miracle and it didn't happen!". Every question within the matter of a few minutes ran through my mind. I broke down weeping. I kissed my niece's head and looked at her peacefully laying in my arms. In my brokenness I prayed that God would just allow us to understand.  Do you want to know what happened next? God showed up. Why? Because He is still good. In the midst of my grief and angst His presence covered me there in that room. I asked again "just help us understand." Then I heard Him whisper gently, "my ways are higher than your ways." 

“My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,” says the Lord.
    “And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine.
   For just as the heavens are higher than the earth,
    so my ways are higher than your ways
    and my thoughts higher than your thoughts." - Isaiah 55:8-9

  I sat in the dark silence for a few minutes and though my heart was still hurting, I felt this undeniable peace and I started praising God for His faithfulness. I prayed for protection and peace for my brother and his girls. I prayed for strength for my sister-in-law's parents. I prayed for comfort for my parents. After I laid my niece in her bed and walked out of the room and I knew my nieces were not alone. I knew I was not alone. I knew my brother was not alone. How? I knew because I serve a living God who doesn't abandon His children. I serve a God who knows what tomorrow holds. I serve a God who is near to the brokenhearted. I serve a God who gives hope and He is my hope! 

    My friends, God doesn't allow things to happen to punish us. He uses circumstances to help us grow. We may not ever understand why we lost this beautiful soul so soon. But in faith, we need to trust that He is God. He sees the bigger picture. He has plans to use this tragedy for His purpose. Already, there have been a few glimpses of beauty from the ash and stone. We need these glimpses that can so easily be missed if we aren't looking for them, and the only way to see them is to keep your eyes up. 

   The grief is still very raw. I still hurt so much for my brother and his girls. But the more I press in to my Jesus, the less I focus on the pain. For when we press in to Him, we are allowing Him to fight the battle for us. Grief is a process which every person goes through in their own way and time. Grief is full of good days and bad days. But grief should never be where we stay. So I encourage you, no matter the pain you are facing today, press in to Jesus. Lean on Him. Get to know Him in a way you have never experienced before. If you don't know Him, ask someone about Him. Or you can even cry out to Him to show you who He is. But don't allow yourself to be tricked in to feeling like you can't move on. Don't allow yourself to drink the lies that you're in pain and despair forever. Rescue will come if you just let your heart cry out His name. Jesus. 

 I waited patiently for the Lord to help me,
    and he turned to me and heard my cry.
 He lifted me out of the pit of despair,
    out of the mud and the mire.
He set my feet on solid ground
    and steadied me as I walked along.
He has given me a new song to sing,
    a hymn of praise to our God.
Many will see what he has done and be amazed.

    They will put their trust in the Lord. - Psalm 40:1-3


 ((to be continued...))

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