Dying to Live

  A few weeks ago my friend (who is also our worship pastor) asked me to write a short paragraph about promises God revealed to me during a season of pain. I feel like God is asking me to blog about it more in detail. I'll begin with the paragraph I wrote:    Last year was a painful season in my life but from it came so much growth. One of the moments that stands out to me most happened one night while I was outside shoveling snow. I felt like God wasn't answering me because nothing seemed to be getting easier. In fact, things kept getting worse. I angrily just started pouring out to God all the questions of why and telling Him how much I hated this season I was in. I did this until nothing but tears were left to pour out. I stood in the quiet of that winter night and looked over at the tree in our yard. Every single branch was iced over and the glow from street light made it look like crystal. It was so beautiful. I heard God speak the words "my ways are no...

    In the loudness of life's trials, His voice still speaks. It's our job to make the effort to listen for it. It comes to us in the exact moment He intends. This week He spoke to me while I was sitting watching my kids play. All around me was noise from children playing, and the heavy traffic during this part of the day. But somehow that still, small voice rang louder than anything else. He spoke my heart a passage from Psalm 24.      Lift up your heads, O ye gates; and be ye lift up, ye everlasting doors; and the King of glory shall come in.- Psalm 24:7     It really baffled me because for one, it was said as it's written in the King James Version and I have never owned this version of a bible, and two I didn't understand the Lord's intent on speaking this to me. So this week I continued to pray and meditate upon this passage and obviously read it in context. It really took my a few days to fully grasp why He spoke this to me, but it's becoming ...

  I really don't know where to begin other than the absolute truth; Trials are hard but God is good!  This season has made every worship song I've ever known come alive. The more we pour out, the more we are filled. In every season, I have a reason to worship. I surrender all. You give and take away, yet I still choose to say blessed be Your name. Great are You Lord. He is my hope and stay. You are my deliverer. Never once did we ever walk alone. It is well with my soul. The context of these songs that I have sung over and over again, are so raw and real in this season. This season has been pure desert-walking. I would maybe even go so far as to call it our own personal Exodus. We are still walking in the desert, but you know the beautiful thing about desert walking? He is here.   The funny thing about these desert places is the growth you find here. We have battles coming at us from multiple angles. It seems like everywhere we look there are giants surrounding us. Bu...

  Each time he said, "My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness." - 2 Corinthians 12:9   This past month has been a very trying time in our family. On top of grieving it feels like there has been a slew of battles rising against us, like thorns in our flesh as Paul describes. There are times when I go to pray and feel like I have no more to pour out. I feel like I'm worn out of words and emotions. Have you ever felt like that? Like your heart still needs to cry out but you're just so tired all you can muster is His name? You read the words and go through the motions, but there's nothing left to say? That's the place where I am. I feel like I have prayed the same prayers everyday for the past 32 days, and today I am exhausted. Not physically or mentally, but spiritually and emotionally. It doesn't mean I have lost the desire to spend time with Him, I just have nothing left to say. It's uncomfortable. Like those times you try and strike ...

The LORD is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed.- Psalm 34:18   I have tried to write a blog for the past two weeks but the words seem to elude me. I am still struggling with taming my thoughts in to something intelligible.Without spelling out every detail, November 11th my brother lost his best friend and wife, my 3 young nieces (12, 8 and 8 months) lost their mother and our entire family lost a very precious and beautiful person. My sister-in-law was the only sister I ever knew and she meant a lot to me. She was someone I trusted with my kids. She was someone who I could talk to and joke with. She was a fun person to be around. She was healthy. She was only 31 years old. In the matter of an hour, she was gone from this earth.    I have lost loved ones in my life before. But never have I felt quite this way. I never felt grief in the form of a physical hurt. The first night she was gone, I rocked my youngest niece to sleep and pain j...

   So there has been an awful lot of negativity regarding the new Pokemon Go craze. Obviously, there have been those using horrible judgement in abandoning common sense while using this app. But how many people foolishly text or check FB while walking around or driving? How many of you have your face stuffed in your phones to tell the FB world how much you dislike seeing peoples faces stuffed in their phones? **crickets**    Ok on to my real point for this post. Many people are calling this thing "stupid" or "a waste of time", some even going to extreme lengths as to calling it "evil"? (Are you serious? I mean, I love Jesus too.. But really?) Let me share this tid bit of information with you while you have a seat. Yes, you standing on your soap box.. Just sit down for a minute.   Throughout my entire life's observations one thing has remained true, fitting in is not easy. It's even less easy when your interests don't line up with those of y...

    Though the picture above doesn't fully capture the magnificent site we experienced last week, but serves it's purpose for illustration. When I saw this I was just stunned because minutes before we needed candles to see inside the house. (We had also lost power.) It had been grey and snowing for the better part of the day then suddenly, everything stopped and the sun managed to break through the clouds at sunset. The only thing the sun was shining on around us were the tops of the snow covered trees and it lit up the whole neighborhood. It was indescribable.    The next day I still couldn't get the images out of my mind. I started to think about the times in life when we're in the middle of one of life's storms and how our first reaction is waiting for someone or something to rescue us. For me, I pray. I believe that when I call upon the name of my God, that He will come rescue me and He has proven that every single time. There are times the storm is short...