Our "gifted" Life of Parenting
I read a blog that was posted recently, stating that every child is gifted and talented. I don't think people really understand or grasp what "gifted and talented" means. Yes, every child has their own talents and gifts, special abilities and every child IS a gift but a gifted child is more complicated. As a Mom of a "gifted and talented child" and former early childhood teacher, I can say first hand that these kids are a whole different ballgame. I get "the look" pretty much anytime it comes up that my son is gifted. No, I am in no sense bragging about my child, I'm a proud parent like any other parent out there; but I in no way think my child is better than yours or your child is any less special than mine. My child is just different and it's so much more than just intelligence. It's downright EXHAUSTING having a "gifted child"!
Sometimes it's lonely parenting a "gifted child". Those who haven't researched what it means to be "gifted" automatically see "smarts". What they don't see are the sleepless nights of a child whose mind cannot stop, the meltdowns of a child who is overstimulated because of all the information they're attempting to gather in a crowded place. The emotional turmoil of a last minute change in schedule, the time it takes for the child is process change and the stress they undergo because of it, even when it's minor. The tears, anger and nervousness that builds up over going to a new place, or trying something new. The frustration of not being able to share information, or how scary emotions can be because they don't understand why they feel that way. These are just a few things I see my child struggle with on a daily basis and when some of these behaviors are displayed in front of people, you know they're judging your parenting skills and worse, your child. "They don't discipline their kid enough." "He's too smart to be acting like that." Along with all the other self-righteous opinions they have, because their child is so well behaved all the time.
What they don't see: The constant research of how to deal with overexcitabilities (yes it's a real thing). The worries of your child not meeting their full potential, and feeling inadequate at times to parent this complex child. Trying to avoid the anxious tendencies from turning in to full blown anxiety. The strive to keep their minds challenged, and nurturing their social and emotional development that is well below their cognitive level. The constant need of preparation when a change is coming, and helping your child through all the emotions it causes for them. The shorter stays at indoor get-togethers because at one point or another your child will reach their breaking point. Seeing your 6 year old worrying about starving because Daddy had a few sicks days, worrying about kids with no moms or dads, or worrying about leaving home for college one day. These issues occur nearly every single day, several times a day.
But with the struggles, there are the wonderful things! Like the witty jokes we get to encounter daily, the creativity that explodes from this little ball of energy, the humbling empathy and wisdom that pours out of this little person on matters we paid no attention to at his age. The exuberance in his eyes when he has accomplished something he was nervous about doing, the fascination he displays when absorbing new information from his billion questions a day; and above all, the things he has taught us and teaches us every single day. My child is not better than yours, your child is no less special than mine; but my child is different and I love that about him. It's challenging but, I wouldn't give up being his mom for anything in this world! Love you crazy my B-Bug! xoxo
Sometimes it's lonely parenting a "gifted child". Those who haven't researched what it means to be "gifted" automatically see "smarts". What they don't see are the sleepless nights of a child whose mind cannot stop, the meltdowns of a child who is overstimulated because of all the information they're attempting to gather in a crowded place. The emotional turmoil of a last minute change in schedule, the time it takes for the child is process change and the stress they undergo because of it, even when it's minor. The tears, anger and nervousness that builds up over going to a new place, or trying something new. The frustration of not being able to share information, or how scary emotions can be because they don't understand why they feel that way. These are just a few things I see my child struggle with on a daily basis and when some of these behaviors are displayed in front of people, you know they're judging your parenting skills and worse, your child. "They don't discipline their kid enough." "He's too smart to be acting like that." Along with all the other self-righteous opinions they have, because their child is so well behaved all the time.
What they don't see: The constant research of how to deal with overexcitabilities (yes it's a real thing). The worries of your child not meeting their full potential, and feeling inadequate at times to parent this complex child. Trying to avoid the anxious tendencies from turning in to full blown anxiety. The strive to keep their minds challenged, and nurturing their social and emotional development that is well below their cognitive level. The constant need of preparation when a change is coming, and helping your child through all the emotions it causes for them. The shorter stays at indoor get-togethers because at one point or another your child will reach their breaking point. Seeing your 6 year old worrying about starving because Daddy had a few sicks days, worrying about kids with no moms or dads, or worrying about leaving home for college one day. These issues occur nearly every single day, several times a day.
But with the struggles, there are the wonderful things! Like the witty jokes we get to encounter daily, the creativity that explodes from this little ball of energy, the humbling empathy and wisdom that pours out of this little person on matters we paid no attention to at his age. The exuberance in his eyes when he has accomplished something he was nervous about doing, the fascination he displays when absorbing new information from his billion questions a day; and above all, the things he has taught us and teaches us every single day. My child is not better than yours, your child is no less special than mine; but my child is different and I love that about him. It's challenging but, I wouldn't give up being his mom for anything in this world! Love you crazy my B-Bug! xoxo
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