Dying to Live

  Each time he said, "My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness." - 2 Corinthians 12:9   This past month has been a very trying time in our family. On top of grieving it feels like there has been a slew of battles rising against us, like thorns in our flesh as Paul describes. There are times when I go to pray and feel like I have no more to pour out. I feel like I'm worn out of words and emotions. Have you ever felt like that? Like your heart still needs to cry out but you're just so tired all you can muster is His name? You read the words and go through the motions, but there's nothing left to say? That's the place where I am. I feel like I have prayed the same prayers everyday for the past 32 days, and today I am exhausted. Not physically or mentally, but spiritually and emotionally. It doesn't mean I have lost the desire to spend time with Him, I just have nothing left to say. It's uncomfortable. Like those times you try and strike

The LORD is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed.- Psalm 34:18   I have tried to write a blog for the past two weeks but the words seem to elude me. I am still struggling with taming my thoughts in to something intelligible.Without spelling out every detail, November 11th my brother lost his best friend and wife, my 3 young nieces (12, 8 and 8 months) lost their mother and our entire family lost a very precious and beautiful person. My sister-in-law was the only sister I ever knew and she meant a lot to me. She was someone I trusted with my kids. She was someone who I could talk to and joke with. She was a fun person to be around. She was healthy. She was only 31 years old. In the matter of an hour, she was gone from this earth.    I have lost loved ones in my life before. But never have I felt quite this way. I never felt grief in the form of a physical hurt. The first night she was gone, I rocked my youngest niece to sleep and pain just consumed m