Dying to Live

   “ Sometimes life feels so fragmented that I cannot connect feelings to situations. I sure am grateful to know who holds all the pieces and that He will put them together in a way that will one day make sense again. Not my way, but yours oh God.” April 28, 2017   This status showed up in my Facebook memories today and it took me back to probably one of the hardest times we ever went through. We lost my sister in law suddenly that November before. There was a custody battle for my niece. My mother in law was declining in her fight with cancer and my dad was declining at that moment with an unknown sickness. I was taking care of my dad (who thankfully only lived downstairs), homeschooling a 9 year old, taking care of a 2 year old and working part time. All the while trying to provide emotional support to my mom who was helping my brother with his girls.  Jay was working 50+ hours and usually heading to see his mom after work. If my mom was home to stay with my Dad the kids and I wo

   So Monday was a super rough day mentally. I woke up feeling bogged down as I stared another week of social-distancing at home in the face. Our situation currently includes homeschooling a super TWEEN 12 year old, who is partially doing on line learning through his part-time private school. A husband who is working from home via our double living room, answering customer calls; while I wrestle with our very active and over-emotional, button-pushing 5 year old who thinks he runs the world, in to submission. Mix  that with 2 dogs, a cat, a master escape artist hamster and a bird who likes to vocally combust when he feels like he's left out. Did I mention this all takes place within about a 1,000 sq ft apartment? If coffee becomes as scarce as toilet paper.. I AM DOOMED! I have noticed I'm not the only one who hit a wall this week. A lot of us are spent in one way or another during this time of upheaval. I don't pretend to be any different in my struggles of frustration in

  I know I joke a lot but I can feel the genuine fear and anxiety that's running rampant in this time of uncertainty. A huge worry right now seems to stem from the thought of running out of necessities and I get it. I have been in the spot of not knowing how we will feed our family before. It's a scary and uncomfortable place to be. But those are the realest places that God meets us. Those are the times we see His faithfulness shine the brightest. I am not dismissing the validity of the concerns and feelings during these times. But I strongly feel like someone needs this word right now.   When we look at Philippians 4, we see Paul encouraging the church during times of uncertainty. They are some wonderfully, useful instructions.      Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hear